I started working at Rose's the first time about fourteen years ago. At the time we had these small, brown shopping carts. I was the new guy at the time and my two responsibilities were cleaning the bathrooms and doing buggy pick ups. Rain or shine I'd be out there gathering these horribly old little things in to be filled up with toilet paper by the elderly and with toys at Christmas. We also used them to put our freight out. We'd fill a buggy up and roll it out, empty it, then do it all again and return it at the end of the day.
Some time later we started getting new buggies in. Not "NEW" new, but new to us. No idea where these square, giant, yellow monstrosities came from, but we had them. Someone had stuck Rose's stickers on the side, where as the old ones had it pressed into the plastic and painted. Eventually we started getting average sized red carts in that used to be from Target. For the most part they're sturdy and easy to push and pretty easy to get on a buggy pick up. Not long after the yellow ones started coming in we more or less lost our brown buggies. We didn't send them out, there was no conscious effort to get rid of them. They all either broke and got thrown out, or they were carted off by people for God knows what.
I've come and gone from the store twice in the last fourteen years. I've had two other retail jobs and one office job I'm still bitter about losing. In the end though, I ended up back. There's not much left there that I recognize. There's Greg, Mrs. Persons, and Mrs. Boren. Mrs. Persons and Boren have been there longer than me. Imagine my shock to walk in the stockroom soon after coming back and finding a very old brown buggy with a Rose's logo on the side. I'm not going to lie and say I specifically recognize this one, but it's such a throw back to those old days. It's something unexpectedly familiar in an almost alien environment. To be honest, when I slowly put my hands on that brown plastic handle bar I almost teared up. I felt 19 again with the world in front of me. Then I woke up.
I let Mrs. Persons keep the buggy in her department over in softlines. She'll guard it like she guards everything else she has over there so I know it's safe. Every now and again, though, I'll pop over when I'm sure no one will see me and I'll check on what may be my oldest friend in the store.

Man. This is almost pathetic!

Antonelli College just called. They can help me find a new job and I'm going next week to register for the June quarter!

W00T!!

Well, let's see here. What's been going on.
I've been able to talk to bluecanarykit a good bit this weekend so that's a definite bonus. Got some cd's from Walmart so I can burn some of the music I said I'd burn. Saw Mike, Warren, and Max today.
Something has me worried. I've been sent home early three times this week for one reason or the other. I know we're slow, but dang. I'm starting to worry a bit when I'm alone. I'm going to need to really discuss this though in retrospect. You see, they never out right fire anyone in this company. They just start cutting hours until you can't afford to keep the job. Knowing that and being the one sent home this week has apparently been somewhere in the back of my mind. I told Kit I wasn't going to worry about it, but here it is almost one in the morning and it's stuck in my head. What does it mean? Is it just coincidence? Are they trying to tell me something? I've only had this job for five months and while I don't like it, I do NEED it. Ugh. I didn't need this right now.
I did find out that I'm off NEXT weekend. This is good though. I'm going to get to go to Memphis that much sooner for Saturday.
Errant Apprentice is back and updating regularly. I'm moving like I should again. Hooray for art!
Okay, that's it. I'm going to bed. G'night all.

My car died. . . I don't care.
My job is less than wonderful. . . I don't care.
People are excited the comic is back. . . I don't. . . okay about THAT I DO care.

The last twenty four hours have been the happiest of my entire life and that's all I'm sayin'.

I don't normally do this but for once this song seems to sum up what's going on with my life right now. Take the Time by Dream Theater.

Just let me catch my breath...
I've heard the promises
I've seen the mistakes
I've had my fair share of tough
breaks
I need a new voice, a new law,
a new way
Take the time, reevaluate
It's time to pick up the pieces,
Go back to square one
I think it's time for a change

There is something that I feel
To be something that is real
I feel the heat within my mind
And craft new changes with
my eyes
Giving freely wandering
promises
A place with decisions I'll
fashion
I won't waste another breath

You can feel the waves coming on
(It's time to take the time)
Let them destroy you or carry
you on
(It's time to take the time)
You're fighting the weight of
the world
But no one can save you this
time
Close your eyes
You can find all you need in
your mind

The unbroken spirit
Obscured and disquiet
Finds clearness this trial
demands
And at the end of this day sighs
an anxious relief
For the fortune lies still in his
hands

If there's pensive fear, a
wasted year
A man must learn to cope
If his obsession's real,
Suppression that he feels must
turn to hope

Life is no more assuring than
love
(It's time to take the time)
There are no answers from
voices above
(It's time to take the time)
You're fighting the weight of
the world
And no one can save you this
time
Close your eyes
You can find all you need in
your mind

I close my eyes
And feel the water rise around
me
Drown the bear of time
Let my senses fall away
I can see much clearer now,
I'm blind

Find all you need in your mind
If you take the time

I'm back folks. Megacon was an absolute blast. I finally got to meet a lot of my Nightgig breatheren and sisteren. Warren came with us and helped out at the table. I was next to Karl the whole time which was awesome. We ended up perverting each other's art quite a bit which is always a good thing. He also gave me some very good tips on ways to speed up the page making process for EA which I'll have to try and remember. So much happened I don't know how much detail I can go into since it's all so fresh. The only thing I can say for certain is that bluecanarykit is officially the coolest person in the world. That is all.

Also, I've uploaded the first batch of MegaCon photos up on my flickr page. Drop in and take a look.

So this is it. I'm going to Orlando tomorrow via Northwest Airlines. I'm going to Megacon to promote the Errant Apprenice, Sweatshop Studios, and Nightgig in general. I'll post an update with pics when I get back.

I just filled four lawn bags full of crap from my room. Most of it wasn't my stuff though. My mom saved everything. EVERYTHING. I found newpaper ads from 1982. There were puzzles my sister bought me before she moved to Utah in '83. Books about being a Jehovah's Witness (don't ask) and any number of other things I can't remember. There comes a point where sentimentality is bull crap and we've passed that point long ago. I now have three empty draws and some floor space in my closet. This is good because I need more room in my, well, room. The bad thing is that Tuesday I'll be doing this again. Why? There is STILL more stuff. Gah.

I won't be out and about tonight like I thought I was. My Aunt Louise who lives across the street is in the hospital with heart problems and things so far do not look good. I'm going to be with my other Aunt part of the night it seems keeping her company. More later.

Okay, now that I'm finally done reading Bone for the day I figured I'd write a bit since I have some time before work. Here's some general updates about life and the Sweatshop.

I've started reading Discworld again. I bought "The Last Continent" and decided to start from the beginning and read some of my favorites. Something about the series always makes me feel good about the world in general. Even Death. I've also decided to run the Discworld GURPS game for some friends. Mike has decided not to participate. Curses. If anyone local would like to be a fourth member of the playing group drop me a line. I've got three confirmed and we can discuss details.
I recently got a Doctor Who sonic screwdriver. I've been resisting every urge to take it with me. I have a feeling it isn't going to help me meet women.
I have a couple of days off coming up. First time in a while I've had two days off in a row, let alone in a week! I'll be off Sunday and Monday. Sunday I'll be working on the new EA cover (I hope) and Monday afternoon I may try and get out of the house unless various tasks jump on me.
For Christmas I got Super Mario Galaxy from Mike. It seems like a fun game. LIES! I've been stuck on the first few levels since the day after Christmas and just yesterday I gave up on it for now. It's too damned difficult to control and the camera is getting on my nerves badly. I played for two hours trying to get through one damned jumping puzzle and frankly it can take a flying leap itself right now.
That's about it for now. More later.

I haven't been sleeping well. I blame work. Nothing terribly stressful exactly, I'm not getting home till 11:00 though when I close and then I have stuff to get done when I get home so sometimes I don't get to bed till 2 a.m. Last night I got to bed around midnight though. I nearly slept all morning and I still have to be at work by two. We have a shipment. I hate closing on shipment nights. It's just so damned stressful and hectic. Other than that I don't have any voicable complaints about work at the moment.

I need to get out more. I should probably try to start dating again too, but I'm so rusty I'm afraid I'll just embarrass myself. I haven't been on a date since October of '98. Honestly though, I can't remember the last time I met anyone. The good news is that I don't have the horrible and debilitating self doubt as much as I used to. I don't see myself as ugly and I think I'm a pretty keen fella'. I just don't get out much.

Dang it, I'm too tired for this and I don't have time for a nap this morning. Ah well. Let me get back to some chores and maybe I can post tomorrow night after I get the next page of the comic done.

So here I sit freezing my butt off. It's 5:20 and I'm all ready cold. I have to go out tonight and by something else for my secret Santa this year since Paul made a really good suggestion.
Other than that I went to Rose's today. I don't think I'm going back for a while. It sucks on my soul and a couple of people up there don't seem terribly happy to see me coming. That being said, oh well.
Mostly today I've worked on Sweatshop Studios related stuff. I've got a preliminary site redesign going that might work depending on how comicpress handles it. I'm really excited about that, by the way. madscott will be changing my site over to Comicpress at some point. I feel bad sometimes having to rely on others to do my site work now but the technology and tools have moved faaaaar beyond my meager html skills. I still have trouble with frames to be honest.
I finished tomorrow's page of Errant Apprentice today. I'm happy with the backgrounds for the most part, but I'm REALLY happy about how Father Takewell is turning out as a character. Once the background fell into place he really came together.
The only other thing I need to try to do is get together with realmwalker1 at some point. Hopefully before Christmas. I'll have to see when my days off are next week though. Okay, enough from me. More later.

Funny I should call this update by this name. Back when Barry ran a web page the post popular section was the Random Thoughts page that had quotes from him and us, his friends. It’s funny because Barry plays a bit of a role in some of these thoughts.

Last weekend Barry and Jessica (Paul’s girlfriend) gave me tips and ideas about my personal style. Afterwards they felt bad about it, but there was no real need to. It gave me some stuff to think about. I was actually flattered that someone was putting that much thought into my look and my prospects of getting a girlfriend or what have you. I tried to find a stylist today just for kicks to get my hair done a bit differently. The problem was they all smelt of beer and liquor. I finally found a decent barber and got my hair cut. That was at Northpark Mall. I walked around after that just looking and soaking in the humanity. It don’t get to do that much and I did enjoy it for the most part. I watched the booth girls make choices of who to hawk their moisturizers to. Mostly attractive people who looked like they’d buy into it with vanity. Imagine my shock to be singled out by them. Always the prettiest of them too! I don’t want to sound vain, but really I’m still getting used to the idea that I’m not a CHUD.

I went to Rose’s as well. I needed a new strand of Christmas lights. I saw Greg, I saw the other stock guys. I spoke with some people. I’m glad I came in there. I realize now just how glad I am to be gone. The place was sheer chaos. It was a wreck and no one was doing anything to help customers. It’s just one of those moments where you realize just what kind of impact you had on a place when you leave and come back and you see it all gone. I was a good manager after all. I just couldn’t handle the stress.

So I need to get back on the EA book. I was making progress but working in retail, even shoes, during the holidays is a pain. I don’t have quite as much time as I’d like. I also haven’t been sleeping enough so I’ve got this whole “zombie” thinkg kickin’.

Well, the rest of the plans for today consist of Warren coming over after he gets off work and we’ll do something. I still need to call the store and see when I work tomorrow. I’m sure I work Sunday, but I’ll get my hours for that on Saturday.

That’s about it for now. Hopefully I’ll feel awake enough to update again soon instead of waiting this long again.

Watch me draw! You may need to turn your volume up since I was having some mic issues. Enjoy!

Okay. I'm back from work and waiting for the floor crew to call so I can go back and let them out. I'm going into a bit more detail on something that's bothering me.

Some of my friends are doing something that bothers me. Well, a couple of things, but one is a recent development. It bothers me a lot and I don't know what to do. I spent a few years pretending it didn't bother me around some people, but I don't feel like doing it any more. I don't want to see them do this thing but I want to spend time with my friends when I can. I have no answers.

I won't be able to update the comic this Monday. The floor crew ate up too much time and I wouldn't have had the three to four hours I needed anyway so I'll be updating Tuesday. I'm not happy about that.

Austin has come back into my life rather suddenly. I'm rather happy about this. He's a lot closer to the guy I knew way back when for the first time in a long time. He's changed to be sure, but it's one of those core changes you can deal with more than drugged out changes.

It's nearly ten and the friggin' floor crew STILL hasn't called. I know the floor was pretty dirty, but man! I want to get undressed and go to bed. I'm so friggin' tired of the store eating my time like this. I used to have a life of some form. Now I just have a stress hole that keeps me tired and angry all the damned time. When I first took the ASM possition it was sort of fun. Even with Ruth gone it was fun. Now it's just work and annoyance.

Well, that's enough for now. I think I'll try and keep this updated a little more frequently (so he says).

You ever have one of those morning where you wake up and sincerely wish you were dead? Yeah. Me too. There are things bothering me that if I say anything I'm going to piss off or alienate a large group of people. Work is only getting worse. Today isn't going to be any better since I have to deal with the aftermath of yesterday and I'm still worried about whether I got that job or not. I'm looking at everything in my life and wondering why in the fuck I even bother. Is this stupid comic going to actually go anywhere or is it just going to end up like everything else I seem to try and die a miserable and pointless death? I wake up in the morning it seems with no other purpose than to do things I either don't want to do or do out of habit. I feel like my prayers are bouncing off the ceiling, which is odd because they used to go somewhere. What am I to do? No idea. Why am I posting this? I'm going to be honest here. It's a cry for help. I'm drowning in my own life right now and I have no idea what to do any more. Anyway. Off to work soon, so until next time. . .

Been a while. My promotion went through and my time has been eaten away by the job. This has been my first weekend off in quite some time so I've spent a lot of it lying around. Last night I did got to Fenian's to see SPOT and Albert play with Scott, Aimee, Mike, and Barry. Paul and Lydia did eventually show up and Paul and I sent text messages back and forth for a bit from across the table. Silliness, I know.
This week has been a further adjustment week. I'm settling into the manager thing well, but I'm worried about the cost on my soul as it were. The pay is good, but when do I spend it? Also, I'm trying to find a way to deal with the stress and so far it isn't working well. I've had trouble sleeping and had quite a few headaches. I see Byron next Friday (which is my next day off) so I'll have plenty to delve into there.
I have an urge to write but I don't have anything specific in my. I know I'd like to write some short horror stories but I don't know about what.

I'm tired of rain. It seems like it's been raining for weeks and my yard is full of mushrooms. I hate the damned things. I don't know why, but I do. I hate the look of them, I hate their sheer numbers and I hate them being in my yard.

That's it. I'm taking a nap.

Believe it or not I haven't had a hell of a lot to complain about in the last few months.
Don't get me wrong, I could, but I won't. My life has been surprisingly happy. Errant Apprentice is rising in the ranks on Drunk Duck, my art has gotten better, my writting has gotten better and I'm exploring new hobbies that get me out of the house.
First, I love taking drives some where to take pictures. These are from my last few trips and I think they're all right.
Secondly, and is going to hate me for this, I've begun GeoCaching. On the larger expeditions we've been pretty successful at finding the little buggers, but by myself I'm not doing so well. There are two withing three miles from my house hidden by the same guy and I can't find either of them. One is at Terry Rd. park and the other is at the Kroger. Curse you Bone1977. Curse you.

I downloaded the latest They Might Be Giants album from Itunes. It's called "The Else" and the jury is still out on it. It's prduced by the Dust Bros. and while it's good I'm still kind of waiting for it to grow on me. Ah well.

That's about it for now. I go sleep-sleep now.

I'm getting frustrated having several blog sites. I have another one HERE that is updated far more frequently than this one. I'll keep updating this one occasionally, but the new one is updated every day or so with neat thoughts and pictures as I draw them.
Other than that not much is going on. My birthday passed with absolutely no fanfare. My dad forgot my B-day again and gave me $100 out of guilt. Byron (my therapist) got me a $20 gift card at Borders. I got My Tank Is Fight! by Zack Parsons of Something Awful. Decent book, but I think it may be a little too technical for me to completely enjoy. I also got the first collection of Ultimate Spiderman. That I could get into.
I'm on vacation this week. I've spent most of my time NOT neglecting the house. I've cleaned, straightened, rearranged, and thrown things away that are too old to keep. Pretty productive week so far. I've also watched the first season of the Kids in the Hall and Star Trek the Motion Picture. I've got a few other things I need to work on, one for money no less, and I'm not mentioning them because then I'll never get them done.
Enough for now. More later.

Working for print is a huge pain in my sphincter. I've had to rescan every page so far, redo the layout of each page to fit the print template and then color. I'm three pages into a forty to fifty page book. It's taking me a week to do two pages ON TOP of the current updates. I'm thinking EA book one will be available for christmas. Blarg.

I haven't done anything this weekend except work on EA. I'm damn nigh sick of it. I'll be taking it easy this week some, but I can't stop. The book may be the only source of income I EVER get off of all of this. Kinda sad really.

An associate of mine that I recently met on Drunk Duck named Mr. Riot has gotten an offer to have his work published. I'm very happy for him.
HPK has gotten Cosmic Dash published in an anthology. I'm very happy for him.

I'm very angry with myself right now. I don't know what it is about my stuff that has web cartoonists liking it and the general public turning a blind eye, but I'm doing it and I'm angry about it. I don't know what to do to be quite honest. All I can write is all I can write. I can't imagine it's the art that's hurting it.
See, I've tried working with a writer before and it just never works. They always seem to be terribly protective of their material and always become belligerent. I lose artistic freedom.

I guess I'm just terribly frustrated right now. . .